i think we're already dead

six months. time moves so quickly, with so many casualties. so casually. it's been six months since the waiting room, and the long walk home, and the everlasting calculations and equation that came to be. the low moments are fewer and further between still.

i've been working. the new job is fine. as fine as any new job can be. fine enough to get me through and by and into my own apartment. it's just time. it's time. i need to spend some time alone. living alone. surviving alone. by july.

on my walk back to the office today, i thought about all that i've accomplished in my life so far. it made me feel better about the way things have stood. it made me feel like less of a fuck up and more of an adult than i allow myself to most times. i've done a lot. i've accomplished a lot. i've made it through a lot, headstrong, shoulders back, eyes up.